OOC: trying to explain Delia...
May. 26th, 2006 07:29 pmlamorgne: and now I have to explain to Ji WHY Delia's in love with him
lamorgne: and I think it is, actually IN rather then just love.
theabbreviated: ...awww?
lamorgne: *flails*
theabbreviated: *cuddlepets*
lamorgne: ...I don't suppose you have any ideas?
lamorgne: *is grasping at straws*
theabbreviated: I... do not know, alas.
theabbreviated: I don't know Delia well enough
lamorgne: *nods*
lamorgne: Becca said it's because he's unavailiable
lamorgne: which makes scary amount of sense
theabbreviated: ...yeeah.
theabbreviated: I also think that Thom's addictive, the same way Roger is, in his own way. Hells, Alex was addicted to them both, same as Delia
lamorgne: they don't love, they don't need her, she can't conquer them and move on
lamorgne: *nods*
lamorgne: that makes sense, too
lamorgne: I don't get the sense that Josie is addictive, though
theabbreviated: Josie is more -- she needs you, and that's ego-bolstering, that this gorgeous, delciate creature could want and need you
lamorgne: *nods*
theabbreviated: that's why Alex was never as close with Josie, that sort of thing doesn't work as well with him
lamorgne: and that's why Delia probably keeps going back - Josie's there, and needs her, and loves her no matter what she does, or who
theabbreviated: *nods*
it makes sense!
lamorgne: and I think it is, actually IN rather then just love.
theabbreviated: ...awww?
lamorgne: *flails*
theabbreviated: *cuddlepets*
lamorgne: ...I don't suppose you have any ideas?
lamorgne: *is grasping at straws*
theabbreviated: I... do not know, alas.
theabbreviated: I don't know Delia well enough
lamorgne: *nods*
lamorgne: Becca said it's because he's unavailiable
lamorgne: which makes scary amount of sense
theabbreviated: ...yeeah.
theabbreviated: I also think that Thom's addictive, the same way Roger is, in his own way. Hells, Alex was addicted to them both, same as Delia
lamorgne: they don't love, they don't need her, she can't conquer them and move on
lamorgne: *nods*
lamorgne: that makes sense, too
lamorgne: I don't get the sense that Josie is addictive, though
theabbreviated: Josie is more -- she needs you, and that's ego-bolstering, that this gorgeous, delciate creature could want and need you
lamorgne: *nods*
theabbreviated: that's why Alex was never as close with Josie, that sort of thing doesn't work as well with him
lamorgne: and that's why Delia probably keeps going back - Josie's there, and needs her, and loves her no matter what she does, or who
theabbreviated: *nods*
it makes sense!
(no subject)
Apr. 15th, 2006 10:04 pmThere really is no logic to your smile,
there is no simple way to add this sum,
subtract the empty men whom you beguile
and win with your bright eyes, your playing dumb.
There is no way to quantify my rage
in normal terms, in inches miles and yards,
and so we spar, with yells as we engage.
Or else we dance. Or sit, and play at cards.
I didn't mean to let is get this far;
believe me, love, this blood was not for you
to see. Do you think me uncouth? Bizarre?
Just kiss me, then, I always follow through.
I'll taste your hate and swallow down your sighs;
just let me have this once; just close your eyes.
-
fahye, here.
It was odd - they looked scared, they sounded scared, even the sweat on their skin left a frightened stink in the air. But they never seemed to want to get away. There were always chances, moments when the shackles were unlocked, moments in between rasping, horrific affections, when they could have gotten away if they'd wanted it badly enough.
They were always like that. Frightened of death, but secretly excited by what they were going through. It was one of the things that made this all worthwhile. It was one of the things that made their exhausted crying so nice when they were left alive, and made the screams of agony and terror so delicious when they were not.
But this latest one was a bit of a mystery. It wasn't a lack of fear, no, the fear was definitely there - it was a lack of denial. This one was consciously enjoying it, instead of hiding it like the others did. This one even seemed to find something...fulfilling in it. Of course it was fulfilling, but not usually for the victims. But this one...this one almost acted tenderly when hair was yanked and knives drew close to throats.
It was odd, but it was like falling in love. Perhaps it even was falling in love, though that was unexpected. Shattered bones and broken minds were usually not so receptive to gentle touches, but somehow, with this one...it stopped being rape and murder, and become something much more frightening.
-
not_in_denial, here
there is no simple way to add this sum,
subtract the empty men whom you beguile
and win with your bright eyes, your playing dumb.
There is no way to quantify my rage
in normal terms, in inches miles and yards,
and so we spar, with yells as we engage.
Or else we dance. Or sit, and play at cards.
I didn't mean to let is get this far;
believe me, love, this blood was not for you
to see. Do you think me uncouth? Bizarre?
Just kiss me, then, I always follow through.
I'll taste your hate and swallow down your sighs;
just let me have this once; just close your eyes.
-
![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
It was odd - they looked scared, they sounded scared, even the sweat on their skin left a frightened stink in the air. But they never seemed to want to get away. There were always chances, moments when the shackles were unlocked, moments in between rasping, horrific affections, when they could have gotten away if they'd wanted it badly enough.
They were always like that. Frightened of death, but secretly excited by what they were going through. It was one of the things that made this all worthwhile. It was one of the things that made their exhausted crying so nice when they were left alive, and made the screams of agony and terror so delicious when they were not.
But this latest one was a bit of a mystery. It wasn't a lack of fear, no, the fear was definitely there - it was a lack of denial. This one was consciously enjoying it, instead of hiding it like the others did. This one even seemed to find something...fulfilling in it. Of course it was fulfilling, but not usually for the victims. But this one...this one almost acted tenderly when hair was yanked and knives drew close to throats.
It was odd, but it was like falling in love. Perhaps it even was falling in love, though that was unexpected. Shattered bones and broken minds were usually not so receptive to gentle touches, but somehow, with this one...it stopped being rape and murder, and become something much more frightening.
-
![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
16 Things About Delia
Dec. 17th, 2005 05:41 pm1) Delia spent most of her childhood being the middle child, with her brother Jemis being 18 months older and her other brother Lerant three years younger. With her father, Hallam, being a somewhat distant man and her blonde, green-eyed mother Melisende normally either pregnant or grieving the loss of another baby before dying when Delia was seven, Delia and her siblings were somewhat neglected. The result of this has been Delia’s constant longing for stable affection, but also her inability to deal with it.
2) Her childhood neglect has also meant that she is, in her own way, fairly maternal, as it was up to her to look after her brother Lerant. This partly explains her relationship with Thom, but only partly.
3) As a girl, she was very much a tomboy, constantly outside riding and climbing trees and fighting the village children. This really hasn’t left her, and in Tortall she’d just channelled that energy into other ways – flirting, scheming, plotting, dancing. Anything, really, to keep from fretting with boredom.
4) When she was a young girl, she was engaged to Ralon of Malven, as Malven is a neighbouring fief. When she was seven, though, she came across Ralon bullying her younger brother, and promptly started defending the four-year-old Lerant. She knocked out Ralon’s front teeth, he pushed her out the second story window and broke her leg. Her father, furious, called the engagement off.
5) For the record, she didn’t contact Ralon (a.k.a Claw) about him joining her coup, he contacted her. Well, ‘contacted’. He found her alone, pushed her against the wall, and more from impulsive fear then anything else, she offered him a part. It intrigued him enough that he let her go, and from then on she always made sure she wasn’t alone. She was also going to have him killed, but George took care of that for her.
6) So, why did Delia fall in with Roger in the first place? Multiple reasons. Even when she arrived at court, she didn’t fit into the accepted image. She wore vivid green instead of white and pastels, felt far more comfortable talking to the knights then her fellow young ladies, danced and rode with the best of them - she was too intelligent, too bright, too vivacious, too different, too hungry for attention and power. She already had a knack and a love for the court games, and when the handsome Duke offered her the chance to gain more power…It wasn’t just power, though. She was just sixteen, maybe still fifteen, when she came to Court and into contact with Roger. He is a very handsome man, and as much as she went with him through a chance to get power and to be treated like she had a mind, there was also a good deal of sexual attraction and infatuation involved, too. Which Roger saw, and used, because we all know his habit of collecting pretty playthings.
7) By now, she’s been involved with Roger too long to break free. Seven years, give or take a couple months – she might as well be married to him. She does still love him, though she’s tired and bitter and can see that she’s just being used and toyed with. She can only see that when she’s away from him, though. When she’s face to face with him and he’s talking to her like he always does, like she’s special and worthy of his attention and he really does want her, she’s still too much of the neglected child to break away from that attention. Afterwards she’ll kick herself and hate herself for falling for it again, but she really can’t help it.
8) Because of the length of time she’s been with Roger, and her youth and inexperience when she became his mistress, she really can’t have a normal relationship with anyone else. She knows something of how they work, thanks to Indy, but she doesn’t know how to deal with it once it gets comfortable and safe. She did love Indy, but the comfort started feeling like a stifling cage.
9) Sex is a complicated thing with Delia. It can be a comfort between friends, or a fight with an equally drunk stranger. Sometimes it’s just to prove that she can twine men around her little finger, others it’s just to forget everything but the physical act itself. It’s also about how far she has fallen – she has no honour left, no real worth as a lady, she might as well enjoy herself.
10) She’s scared of death and dying, of the thought her body being a corpse and shut away in a tomb. Being dead herself has done nothing to change this.
11) Related to points 9 and 10, Delia is sadomasochistic, with an emphasis on the latter. It’s not about being punished, just about control and pain – the pain makes her feel alive, and she can’t really be dead if she bruises and bleeds and feels, can she?
12) Delia is also well on her way to becoming an alcoholic. It runs in her family, and she has an addictive personality.
13) Yes, she’s claustrophobic. Her spell in the cells underneath the Corus Palace has done nothing to help this.
14) Religiously, she’s currently very, very lost. As a child, Delia was actually quite religious. As she grew up this lessened, but has never really left her. At the moment, however, she is under the firm impression that the Mother Goddess hates her – and that really isn’t a pleasant feeling.
15) She is jealous of Alanna, for a few reasons. Alanna broke free from society’s snares, while Delia just got tangled and killed. Alanna can have something of a normal life, while Delia is fucked up and dead. Alanna has the respect of her peers and has been chosen by the Mother, while Delia had to fight contempt, scorn, and anger. And Alanna got to do what she dreamed of, while Delia was locked up in the convent.
16) Favourite animal? The snake.
2) Her childhood neglect has also meant that she is, in her own way, fairly maternal, as it was up to her to look after her brother Lerant. This partly explains her relationship with Thom, but only partly.
3) As a girl, she was very much a tomboy, constantly outside riding and climbing trees and fighting the village children. This really hasn’t left her, and in Tortall she’d just channelled that energy into other ways – flirting, scheming, plotting, dancing. Anything, really, to keep from fretting with boredom.
4) When she was a young girl, she was engaged to Ralon of Malven, as Malven is a neighbouring fief. When she was seven, though, she came across Ralon bullying her younger brother, and promptly started defending the four-year-old Lerant. She knocked out Ralon’s front teeth, he pushed her out the second story window and broke her leg. Her father, furious, called the engagement off.
5) For the record, she didn’t contact Ralon (a.k.a Claw) about him joining her coup, he contacted her. Well, ‘contacted’. He found her alone, pushed her against the wall, and more from impulsive fear then anything else, she offered him a part. It intrigued him enough that he let her go, and from then on she always made sure she wasn’t alone. She was also going to have him killed, but George took care of that for her.
6) So, why did Delia fall in with Roger in the first place? Multiple reasons. Even when she arrived at court, she didn’t fit into the accepted image. She wore vivid green instead of white and pastels, felt far more comfortable talking to the knights then her fellow young ladies, danced and rode with the best of them - she was too intelligent, too bright, too vivacious, too different, too hungry for attention and power. She already had a knack and a love for the court games, and when the handsome Duke offered her the chance to gain more power…It wasn’t just power, though. She was just sixteen, maybe still fifteen, when she came to Court and into contact with Roger. He is a very handsome man, and as much as she went with him through a chance to get power and to be treated like she had a mind, there was also a good deal of sexual attraction and infatuation involved, too. Which Roger saw, and used, because we all know his habit of collecting pretty playthings.
7) By now, she’s been involved with Roger too long to break free. Seven years, give or take a couple months – she might as well be married to him. She does still love him, though she’s tired and bitter and can see that she’s just being used and toyed with. She can only see that when she’s away from him, though. When she’s face to face with him and he’s talking to her like he always does, like she’s special and worthy of his attention and he really does want her, she’s still too much of the neglected child to break away from that attention. Afterwards she’ll kick herself and hate herself for falling for it again, but she really can’t help it.
8) Because of the length of time she’s been with Roger, and her youth and inexperience when she became his mistress, she really can’t have a normal relationship with anyone else. She knows something of how they work, thanks to Indy, but she doesn’t know how to deal with it once it gets comfortable and safe. She did love Indy, but the comfort started feeling like a stifling cage.
9) Sex is a complicated thing with Delia. It can be a comfort between friends, or a fight with an equally drunk stranger. Sometimes it’s just to prove that she can twine men around her little finger, others it’s just to forget everything but the physical act itself. It’s also about how far she has fallen – she has no honour left, no real worth as a lady, she might as well enjoy herself.
10) She’s scared of death and dying, of the thought her body being a corpse and shut away in a tomb. Being dead herself has done nothing to change this.
11) Related to points 9 and 10, Delia is sadomasochistic, with an emphasis on the latter. It’s not about being punished, just about control and pain – the pain makes her feel alive, and she can’t really be dead if she bruises and bleeds and feels, can she?
12) Delia is also well on her way to becoming an alcoholic. It runs in her family, and she has an addictive personality.
13) Yes, she’s claustrophobic. Her spell in the cells underneath the Corus Palace has done nothing to help this.
14) Religiously, she’s currently very, very lost. As a child, Delia was actually quite religious. As she grew up this lessened, but has never really left her. At the moment, however, she is under the firm impression that the Mother Goddess hates her – and that really isn’t a pleasant feeling.
15) She is jealous of Alanna, for a few reasons. Alanna broke free from society’s snares, while Delia just got tangled and killed. Alanna can have something of a normal life, while Delia is fucked up and dead. Alanna has the respect of her peers and has been chosen by the Mother, while Delia had to fight contempt, scorn, and anger. And Alanna got to do what she dreamed of, while Delia was locked up in the convent.
16) Favourite animal? The snake.